freedom of choice is a curse.
last night i finished an hour-long video diary. I was ranting about someone, then reading my journal, then talking about my journal.
I spoke about this in another blog. I'm considering quitting my job to "follow my dream". so fucking cliché.
Most people would have no problem with this; especially if i do it properly.
don't quit recklessly. save an emergency fund. have a fallback.
I have good rapport with my colleagues. I'm only quitting when i hit my savings goal. and my parents house is my house.
But the logic center in my brain is telling me that this is stupid and i should just stay in Bumfuck Indiana. Move out of my mom's basement. and...do whatever. I don't do anything besides work right now. the only difference between moving out within the town and my current life is that I'd be paying $1500 in rent and utilities.
So I have the freedom to choose. I have a somewhat strong passport. I have USD, which is strong outside of Europe. I have no children. There is nothing stopping me. besides maybe war, which is out of my hands.
I got approval from my mother, a traditional African woman. Approval usually means it's a good idea. but I recently learned that she pushes us to do whatever we want because she never got to do anything. She was shackled to my dad at age 23. The same age as me.
Why isn't she yelling at me to stay and become a lawyer? Why are people not telling me that Taiwan has nothing to offer? "Do it. You can do anything!" is what my colleagues are telling me.
You're suposed to tell me that this is stupid.
My mom had no choice but to go into nursing to provide because my dad doenst make much. Her dream was to be a fligh attendant; she had no freedom despite fleeing to the land of freedom. Of course its better than Africa, but in the US she should have been able to be a flight attendant.
Is part of me doing this for my mom? yes, that is likely. I'm doing what she couldn't. But she is in her 50s now and she is happy, despite not following her dreams. So at the end of the day, I should do what's smart; stay put and keep saving money. Or maybe move to another city, like Chicago. I told a lot of people that I want to move there. Better dating prospects and better transportation. Another choice I could make.
the freedom of choice is a curse.
To the person that recommended that book. I WILL read it next week while on vacation. I promise :)