i legitimately have a problem
As i mentioned in my last post, i have a big bad boring meeting on march 2nd. It doesn't have much to do with me, but i have to prepare for it. Today i ordered all the food for it. TODAY. i've know about it for a month. this food is not that important, it's just refreshments. why did i order it today instead of last week or something? I dont know why I procrastinate so much at work. I do it in my personal life too. but not to this extent.
there are so many things that i do at the last minute, like course scheduling. Its also due on monday but I just started working on it a few days ago. It wont affect the students or anything, but It's dumb and i know it.
Is it lack of professionalism? I mean i dont do this with everything, just with the things i find super easy. It could be the nature of the job; a jack-of-all-trades kind of admin job kinda forces you to prioritize certain things over others. But thats also something you do in daily life, right?
Its giving me anxiety, thinking that the refreshments wont be here on time.
If i was in therapy they'd say that its a form of self harm. In reality I'm just bad at my job. Is it my secret desire to get fired manifesting into my work? I think so.
UPDATE: THE PACKAGES CAME THE NEXT DAY YIPPEE! i wont learn from this.