my online love life
Boy what a mess!!
I've never been in love, but I've come pretty darn close.
I unfortunately seem to attract nonchalant Europeans. I do not seek them out, I promise.
Shall We Begin?
[ONLIE PERSON 1, 2019]
My first boyfriend. I was sooo obsessed with him...
He had no intention of meeting with me. but before you get mad, please know that he was 15 and I was 16; we were never going to meet in-person--he was from France!
He was the first boy to call me beautiful. But he also told me I was asexual because I didn't want to send nudes to him :/ The day he made that claim was the day we broke up. it was cordial...a little too cordial. mind you, this was a week before my birthday:
I ended up identifying as asexual for about 4 years after that. sometimes i feel like i actually may be... but that's neither here nor there. the last time i spoke to this person was in 2024, he's doing well, and that makes me happy. He's very sweet. In another life I'd totally be his wife.
[ONLINE PERSON 2, 2020]
I had a few more online relationships after that. and by 'few', I mean two. the second one was during COVID, and lasted about 4 months. However, we still talk to this day, so I won't give too many details. This person was actually American
"but Child you said you attract Europeans!"
Yes i know what i said, this person is an outlier.
He's great, really odd too. We broke up because he wasn't ready for a relationship. I remember the night vividly. I thought he was cheating on me!
We met on Amino (rip) and I had noticed another profile that was active on an Amino group (think Facebook group). The profile picture was the same as his Instagram profile picture. And the person had the same vernacular. I screenshotted everything and went sniffing for any comments. I noticed he'd commented affectionate stuff on a girl's page. All this evidence was gathered, but I didn't confront him. At this point, we hadn't spoken for 4 days or so, which is like 2 weeks in LRD terms. When he eventually messaged back, he talked about how he wasn't ready for a relationship, then I said...:
"I suspect[ed] you were talking other people on your other account anyways"
I was so stinkin' dramatic!
We stopped speaking for months after the breakup, but when lockdown began, we started talking again and he had sked to get back together. At that point, I wasn't really wanting to date anymore, so I said no. And I kept saying "no" every time he asked. Right now, we're just friends. I have yet to meet him in person, but I might meet him this year.
Honorable mentions:
- British guy: We never dated, but he was my life mentor and best friend. The best I've ever had. He was 30 and I was 19, but he never made a move on me. He was so funny and taught me a ton about being an adult. In 2025, he decided to move on and set me free officially. I didn't know much about him except that he was in London and his nickname was R***. I really, really miss him. I'd don't think I'll get another mentor like that again. I think he thought I turned into a gold digger because I jokes about him sending me $200...:
- Romanian Guy: I'm currently talking to him. I do not know how the hell he discovered me on Instagram, but he did. He's a bit of an oddball. I honestly don't think that we are going to end up together. He has very outdated views on black people, and is really stubborn. He plans to become a prominent politician in Romania. So if, in like, 10 years, there is a small Romanian politician named D****l, I was friends with him. No screenshots.
[ONLINE PERSON 3, 2022]
I have another online person from Czechia who I don't like to talk about because he's a grade A asshole. He's been in and out of my life for about 4 years. Our relationship is weird and toxic. I do like being toxic to him because I seriously do not care. This sounds awful but he's a liar, I have no more respect for him. I have blocked him many times on every platform, including email. I have a lot of screenshots from my time with this person.
Now that I've talked shit, full transparency uhhh, i dated this person for 2 months in the middle of our friendship. This is him:
"aww sooo sweet"
You know why this relationship didn't work despite there being two shitty people? Because i liked him way more than he liked me. I learned that later. HOWEVER he would go on to say "I love you" and all that BS then tell me, months later, that he was not serious. He is the biggest hypocrite I've ever met.
For example, when I was really busy in college (he was unemployed) he would want my attention for whatever reason and felt entitled to it:
But when I cried to him about him not being the guy he was two screenshots before, his excuse was that he was "busy too" (he wasn't, nothing changed), as if that's a reason to break up?:
AFTER THAT He had promised to meet me later in 2023. He got a new job, moved to another EU country to "save to and see me":
I was so naïve, it's embarrassing so I can't actually tell anyone. The first Online Person said the same, but he was a child. This adult person told me almost daily that he was on a path to seeing me.
He made a whole plan about visas, getting license, getting a job. He had me looking up shit about Common Law Relationships in Europe! We were supposed to meet in Korea in 2024 during my study abroad. I paid extra for an accommodation off-campus that allows male guests so he wouldn't have to pay for a hotel. Like, i was so fucking down bad for this person and when I bring all this up, he just says i'm "stuck in the past". Bitch, I though we were getting married! My fucking bad. :/
I learned a couple things from all these failed online relationships:
- Never confess first
- Do not date someone nonchalant
- Never cry to a nonchalant man about anything,
- Do not spend more time worrying about them than yourself
- Do not expect promises to be kept
(I learned this from my dad actually) - Stop loving too hard.
These were just online. I have had worse happen to me with guys I met in person. There was the time I kissed a guy from Dubai on a pool table, and the time a Turkish guy got me so drunk... ahahaha. And a nonchalant Finish guy who probably hated me, but I liked him.
I'm not sure what's wrong with me.