my problems are NOT region-locked
So what am I doing now in Taiwan? Going on dates. Or at least i was...
I created my Bumble account on the Taxi to the Roach hotel. Pretty filled out. a mix of good and bad pictures.
The likes started rolling in. However, it was much faster than in the past. In Korea I didn’t get many likes immediately, it took a while for it to see the “50+” icon, maybe months. This time, I got the “50+” about 5 hours in. Faster than back home as well.
I didn’t get a match until that 5th hour.
Me being me, I bought bumble premium for a week. Match group taking my money hooray. Through that, I could see why I don't match often despite it looking like I get a ton of likes. High quantity low quality.
Most people liking me are:
- In travel mode from other countries,
- Want something casual, and/or
- People who very obviously just swipe right on everyone.
It’s so easy to identify these people, even if they have a blank profile I know which category they're in. Sooo many blank profiles by the way.
I’d say 1 in 50 men liking me match my requirements: “Long-term Relationship”/“Marriage” OR “Wants Kids” AND 24-40 years old. And I got maybe 200 likes, so we can do the math. I got 4 matches in the one month I've been here.
Match 1 I swiped right because he seemed so cool, and we ended up having a short evening date. That day, I was soooo tired. I felt quite bad for him; he might have noticed my low energy and thought it was because I wasn't interested. We went to a night market and he took me to a few stalls. Unfortunately, I wasn't the slightest bit hungry; I was on my second Boba Milk Tea of the evening. And the smell of stinky tofu in the air was irritating the FUCK out of me.
We went out again the next week and had dinner at an old-school diner. Then proceed to a karaoke bar. It was fun. I think we would be better as friends as we fundamentally have different beliefs about spirituality. I also don't think he wants kids. He doesn't seem to indicate that is something on his radar at all.
I know people can change their mind with the right person, but IDK, I'd rather wait for a high quality, long-term relationship than quickly get into one with someone who will maybe change their mind. Life is too short for that, and it feels desperate.
I don’t know his intentions and that scares me. If his religious/spiritual beliefs weren't strong and he wanted kids then I could foresee something more. I don’t know why I’m getting edged by the universe like this!
Then boom…just in time. The bouts of self doubt, self hate, and insecurity hit me like a train. I like to attribute it to my period but honestly it was just me looking in the mirror after a shower before my date with Match 2. I still don't get why these guys would even swipe on me in a country full of slim and shorter women. I’ll feel confident one second, then the next, get flashes of myself in the mirror and feel sick, especially when outside the US. Then again, I’ve not been exclusively picked by someone. These guys likely are seeing other women, rightfully so.
Match 2 was a foreigner who has been here for YEARS, but doesn't speak Mandarin. I didn’t like that. It also feels like his life plans are unclear, which was only a turn off because he was in his late 30s. But he is quite quirky and likes to drink so again, perfect friend but probably incompatible as a partner. Also he flaked on the second date we had planned this weekend. Not sure if his excuse was legit, but whatever. I just went to the park, listened to music, and drank alone.
Dishonorable mention is Match 3, someone I was talking to for approx. one day. He lives in another city and essentially asked me to hookup. One of the first things he asked was if I live alone. I ignored that and asked if he’s looking for something long term, and he said yes. Then he proceeded to ask if he could book a hotel and have me stay with him there…? He really spoke to me like I was an escort. I’ve learned that people over here think Americans/Europeans/Australians are ALL “open-minded”, which just means we like casual sex more than Asian/African/Middle Eastern people. Unfortunately for them, not all 300 million Americans think alike. I wish I liked casual relationships, but I wear my heart on my sleeve.
Match 4 ghosted me after a few days.
I already stopped using Bumble for now. I’ll occasionally open the app to see what’s new, but I think that everyone on Bumble Taiwan has seen and swiped on my profile.
Why did I think it would be different here??? The only thing that changed is the location. I’m still me, with same compatibility "issues". My problems came with me despite thinking they would disappear.
Anyways here's what i ate before getting my date cancelled the other day:
